S1L25 – Lawyers are cool and fashionable, feat. Mohawk-hairstyled Jack Makataruz from Bauko
A law class is not always about discussions of legal doctrines and principles. A law class is a dynamic mini-society which is really a microcosm of the community itself. Some of the best memories I have of my law teaching years are about that.
“Mr. Jack Makataruz, where are you…?”
“Adaak ditoy likod, sir!”
Bauko, Mountain Province, where this student of mine comes from is a wonderful place. It’s where they grow the sweetest naranjas (that’s Spanish for oranges) that I have long suspected somebody buys in bulk and remarkets them as imported Ponkan oranges from China.
“What did you do to your hair??”
“Sir, I want to establish a Philippine record, I will be the first lawyer to look like this,” Jack answered haltingly as Deema and the other girls in class fought back chuckles.
“Well, you might have done that already. You are the first Cordilleran I know with a mohawk hairstyle!” I said and the class couldn’t help it anymore, they broke out in guffaws. Deema was laughing so hard she was stomping her feet.
“Also, I have bad news for you, Mr. Makataruz. Long before you were even born we have a lawyer in Baguio already who had been wearing a pony tail, two of them in fact. There’s Atty. Bubut Olarte and Atty. Nestor Mondok. You should meet them, they can tell you a thing or two about how to REALLY be cool…” the class was exchanging high-fives in the air, but I think Mr. Makataruz was taking it all in good spirit.
“Sir, maybe they beat me to the radical hairstyle but are they as cool as me? Do they wear earphones listening to retro-70’s folk music on their MP3 players all day?” the Bauko boy said, trying to salvage some of his ego.
“As a matter of fact they PLAY retro-70’s folk music all the time. They are awesome folk music artists. If you have time tonight, why don’t you invite Miss Deema here for dinner and check out their gig at this place called ‘Bag-iw Cafe’ along Marcos Highway,” I suggested.
Deema stood up, “Why don’t the whole class do that, sir? Take a break from your stressful recitations for a change.. ?” I think her classmates loved the idea because they all started chanting, “Deema!…Deema!…Deema…!”
I banged the blackboard to restore decorum.
“Well, what you do on your own time is really none of my business. But as long as we’re on the subject I do apologize if my recitations are putting you all under stress. But that’s what law education is all about,” the class quieted up and I knew I had their attention. I thought, why not? Grab this chance to sneak in a lesson or two in Legal Ethics.
Listen, class, if you’re ever going to make mistakes I want you to make them all here in class. I give you hypothetical situations, using hypothetical facts, then I throw you hard questions because I want to see how you attack legal problems. Then maybe I can show you a few ways to resolve a legal problem. So what if you answered wrong—so long as you BELIEVE your solution is right. We can tweak that knowledge a little bit tighter so the next time you tackle the same situation, you have a sharper perspective.”
“I think ‘hypothetical fact’ is a contradiction in terms, sir” Deema said. I didn’t even realize that.
“Yes…uh..well..you’re right, Miss Deema,” I admitted sheepishly. It’s a fun thing to watch your law professor squirm uncomfortably when you catch HIM make a mistake. Miss Deema Niwala tends to do that a lot with me. Not that I make a lot of mistakes, it’s just that this girl always comes to class well-prepared. I hear she gives her other professors a hard time too.
“Anyway, my point is, here in class I give you license to answer a question with everything you’ve got. No one’s going to get hurt. You are shooting blank bullets. But once you’re a lawyer and you’re facing a real situation out there in the real world, what you think and say matters. If you make a mistake, someone could lose his property, or his freedom, possibly even his life. Out there, class, you’re shooting live bullets, there’s very little room for making mistakes. And I don’t want to be partially responsible for putting some incompetent lawyers out there. THAT is why I am harsh to you during recitation. It’s all in preparation for handling actual facts,” I said, feeling quite good with myself until…
“Actual facts is ALSO a redundancy in terms, sir” Deema said.
“I think I want to meet your parents, Deema,” I said, “I just want to know what the hell kind of diet did they FEED you growing up?” the whole class broke up laughing again. Mr. Juan Dimacaawat put his arm around Deema’s shoulder and she lightly brushed it away.
“Anyway, do see those two folksinging lawyers I told you about and dress appropriately. Mister Dimacaawat, you should have somebody mend those gaping holes in those pants you’re wearing.”
“These are brand new pants, sir, these holes were put there on purpose,” answered the millennial boy.
“You BUY those things??” I exclaimed. Again, Miss Deema came to my rescue.
“They’re called ‘ripped jeans’ sir, they are a fashion statement, or maybe in our case, since we’re law students, a ‘fashion affidavit’” more laughter in the classroom, “tatlo kayang ganyan ang binili ni Juan kahapon sa SM, I saw him!”
“I’m amazed at you young people,” I said, “you go to law school where we, your professors, try our best to sharpen your logic to razor sharpness, and then you go out there and do the most illogical things like paying for ripped jeans,” I said, starting to feel really old, “how much did you pay for those pants, Juan?”
“Nangina, sir! I paid P1,800 for this!” Juan Dimacaawat said while glancing sideways at Deema who he was obviously trying go impress. Too bad the girl said…
“And he bought THREE of those, sir!” Miss Deema Niwala disclosed, “You have no idea, sir, how much money Juan spends to look this CHEAP!”
The author is a writer and lawyer based in Baguio City, Philippines. Former editor of the Gold Ore and Baguio City Digest, professor of journalism, political science and law at Baguio Colleges Foundation (BCF). He is a photographer and video documentarist. He has a YouTube channel called “Parables and Reason”